A funny thing happened to me the other
day and inspired the writing of this post. I've been working recently
on writing a book about my experiences as an Aspie in the hopes of
helping others embrace and love themselves, so as such I needed some
research. Figuring there was no better place to start this project
than with my own original diagnosis documents, I went to the school
board office in my town to request my paperwork. Little did I know,
however, that a surprise awaited me when I opened the envelope I was
handed. As I looked through the documents, an explorer rediscovering
parts of my own past, I came across a report detailing a second
opinion my parents had sought out regarding Aspergers. Now, this may
not seem strange at first since many people who are issued a new
diagnosis often wish to obtain another perspective. What struck me
here, however, is that the psychiatrist who saw me also identified in
me, to use her own words, “an attention deficit.”
Wait...what? Indeed, dear readers,
according to another psychiatrist, I also have elements of an
attention deficit in my brain. This confused me at first; after all,
I'm an Aspie right? I've always seen myself in such a light. The
sight of a new, somewhat unofficial diagnosis prompted me to do some
research. I downloaded the DSM-IV since it was in circulation at the
time of my original diagnosis, along with the latest edition (DSM-V)
so that I could compare. I also did much research into both Attention
Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and whether it could occur alongside
ASD, and what I found definitely intrigued me. According to the
DSM-IV, the two could not co-occur, but so many psychiatrists and
psychologists noticed overlap between the two that the new rules say
that a person with ASD can most definitely also have ADHD.
Fascinated, I then read the diagnostic criteria for both ASD and ADHD
in the DSM-V and was stunned to find out that, in addition to ASD,
the ADHD ones also fit me to a T.
It was as official as it could get
without getting professionally assessed: I have ADHD.
I can't tell you what a loop this
threw me for. On the one hand, I had always identified as only an
Aspie. I grant you that there are parts of my personality that are
clearly eccentric yet not covered by the ASD diagnosis, but I've
always dismissed those as the fact that no two Autistic individuals
are alike. To learn that there is another factor at play in my mind
has caused me to re-evaluate where I stood on myself. On the other
hand, however, as I learned about ADHD in greater detail, I felt like
I'd finally come home. While my ADHD is definitely more along the
lines of the inattentive type
not the hyperactive
one, it still felt as though I had found the missing piece of my
puzzle. Oddly enough, it felt great!
I am
most definitely an Aspie; my difficulty reading social cues, picking
up on the fine nuances of facial expressions and obsessive interests
see to it that I will always have a home among those with ASD.
Learning about comorbidity has been an enlightening experience for me
though, and its propelled me to a deeper understanding of how my own
brain works. I also most definitely have ADHD; I get bored easily,
have difficulty doing tasks, and tend to rush through them to get
them over with while only barely paying attention. While I've coped
with these traits as much as I've coped with my Aspie ones over the
years, they are absolutely
still a part of me.
And
you know what? That's completely okay by me.
I've
said it before on this blog, but I'll say it again; we are not our
labels. The DSM is a wonderful diagnostic tool that is helpful in
qualifying
the issues that a person may face in life and giving them names, but
we must remember that it is merely that – a tool. It's a guidebook
that can provide assistance and direction while we embark on our
journeys, but it should never be used to pathologize personality
types or to tell people what they can or cannot do simply based on an
arbitrary set of diagnostic criteria. Yes, Adam does have Aspergers,
and yes Adam does have ADHD; these are inseparable aspects of my
personality as a human being and I can not simply shake them. It's
important to remember, however, that I am Adam
first. We are all ourselves first, and the only ones who can
determine our potential contributions and self-worth are ourselves.
Never
let anyone else tell you what you're capable of.
As
always, yours in diversity,
Adam
Michael
No comments:
Post a Comment