“To Thine Own Self Be True” – Pride Month, Supergirl, Transgender Representation, and Neurodiversity Pride (Oh My!)

Hey all you out there in internet land! As you’re no doubt aware, June is Gay Pride Month, and as such, yours truly wanted to share something that really inspired me in pop culture recently – a certain...er...super powerful moment that occurred on the CW’s hit series ‘Supergirl.’ The adventures of Kara Danvers have been excellent all year, with a story focussing on bigotry and institutionalized oppression at a time when such a message desperately needs to be heard. Of particular note, however, is one of the new characters they brought in – a spunky heroine who goes by ‘Dreamer.’ Born with the given name Nia Nal, Dreamer is a superhero whose power is derived from being able to use dreams to predict future events and gain insights, among other abilities. She is strong, kind, compassionate, caring, and also perhaps most importantly, different. You see, in addition to being half-human and half-alien at a time in the series where anti-alien prejudice is in full swing, Nia is also transgender, and both admits to having struggled because of it, and to it being a source of pride and strength for her. Indeed, she is informed by it, shaped by its challenges and gifts in equal measure, and also more than the circumstances of her birth (Mewtwo from Pokemon would be proud).

Needless to say, as someone with similar experiences (albeit as a spectrum dweller rather than a member of the trans community)? I was extremely inspired. Especially after she delivered a rousing and passionate speech defending differences between people and encouraging everyone to speak their truths. I’ve reprinted it below:

“My parents believed that humans and aliens could co-exist. And I'm living proof of that. But growing up wasn't easy. I am also a trans woman. I'm different, Miss Danvers, but so is everybody. And I don't know when that became such a bad thing. The greatest gift we can give each other is our authentic selves and sharing that. Sharing our truth is what will make us strong. So, here I am. I am both human and alien. And I am a trans woman. S'mores are my favorite dessert. But I will always choose salty over sweet. I broke my nose when I was 15 during a game of kickball. My mother was my heart. And since I lost her, it's felt like a piece of me is missing. But my father is my spine. I'm a Gryffindor. Uh, my Patronus is a Dapple Grey Stallion. I am an INFP. House Stark. I love Thursdays and April. And nerdy boys who think too much. And I am proud of all that I am.”

This moved me in a way I can’t even describe. All of us who are different have at one time or another experienced exactly what Dreamer described, and so I’ve decided to take her up on her challenge and speak my own truth through an adaptation of her speech for my own lived reality. Because speaking our truths is important:

I'm a child of a divorced home. I've struggled with that in one form or another my whole life. I've felt pangs of anger at my parents, resented things not going as they were 'supposed to', and sensed the awkwardness as my step mom, mom, and dad sat around the same dinner table at events like my Confirmation (since my family is Catholic). I always felt as though I was being torn between two worlds...and you couldn't cut the tension with a knife! But growing up was difficult for me on an additional level too - I am also an Aspie. A person with Asperger's Disorder. A spectrum dweller. Autistic...with probable (though unofficial) ADHD. I'm different...but so is everybody. When did that become such a bad thing? After all, the greatest, most wonderful gift any of us can give each other is that of our true, authentic selves. Our truths - unfiltered, unsanitized, uncompromising. So here I am - a kid from a divorced family, an Aspie, an ADD-er. Human. Pizza is one of my favourite foods. I love science fiction in general and Star Trek in particular. I'm an all around nerd and an introvert, but I love being around my chosen friend family...if only for defined periods. When I was 14, I almost got suspended from school for standing up for myself against my bully, and later when I was in Grade 12, I led our school newspaper on strike for freedom of the press after we got censored by the principal. My Nona Olga and Aunt Judy were two of the dearest women to me in life, and I strive to live according to the values of honesty, compassion, tolerance, and love that they taught me. I'm an optimist. A lover, not a fighter...though I can certainly be fierce and outspoken when I need to be. My step mom and birth mother are the ones who instilled in me that sense of resilience and courage though, and my gentle, wonderful father taught me how to be a good man. I'm a Gryffindor at heart, and if I were to be any animal, it would be a Golden Retriever, because while I love cats, I identify with dogs. I am an INFP. Vulcan follower of the V'Tosh Katur path. Jedi Knight. I live for lazy rainy Saturday mornings, and I'm a big fan of nerdy girls with glasses. And most importantly? I am proud of all that I am. I wouldn't be me without any of it.

We all need to speak our truths and be true to them. Otherwise, the world will never change for the better.

Thank you, Dreamer, for inspiring me to continue speaking mine.

Happy Pride everyone!

Yours in diversity,

Adam Michael

"Don't Judge Me On How I Talk": The Curse of Verbal Clumsiness

I had something happen to me the other day at work that I just knew had to be made into a blog post. I was in the washroom of all places, finishing up my business when I started making small talk with another gentleman who was washing his hands. After the usual "you're working late" and "another day, another dollar," cliches had been exchanged, I found myself suddenly feeling awkward and struggling to string together a logical sentence. It was as though my brain knew it wanted to be smooth and casual, but my words wouldn't co-operate. I rambled slightly, grinned awkwardly, washed my own hands and promptly escaped from the scene and back to my desk. 

From talking to some fellow Aspies and reading testimonials online, I know I'm not the only spectrum-dweller who experiences this. It's as though my thought processes move too fast for my speech to adequately explain them. When I try, I fumble, struggle or have to calm myself down and try again. My friend Nancy has taken to calling her ability to understand me in these situations "speaking Adam fluently," but as giggle-worthy as that is, it highlights a problem many of us Aspies and Autistics face. The fact is, verbal communication is often too sluggish and limited for the thoughts that go through our brains. 

I've often had the experience that I write far better than I speak. My old manager at Blockbuster Video (remember that place?) used to say that I was slightly awkward, and I certainly felt that way when speaking face to face with someone. When given either a pen and paper or a computer with a word processor, however, I've often amazed others with the eloquence of my communicative ability. I've built worlds, created entire species, argued for political change and expressed the deepest, darkest parts of myself through the written word in ways that I could only dream of doing with my mouth and verbal communication. In short, writing sets my mind free from the constraints of my physical body and its limited communication abilities. After all, words, gestures and the unconscious interpretation of pheromones and facial features (in non-autistics at least) are so limited compared to the soaring imagination of a mind freed from these things and allowed to explore. 

For this reason, I think it's silly that many psychological professionals judge the intelligence of Neurodiverse individuals on their ability to speak and their speaking patterns. There are, after all, countless tales of savants who can't speak a word but who are capable of great works of music, culture, art, and even philosophical insight. Speech is not the only means of communication available to humans, and on the flip side, to quote Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn, "the ability to speak does not make one intelligent." We need to move beyond thinking of verbal speech as the only way people can talk to each other and express themselves when it simply isn't. Only a more open-minded approach to human communication will allow all those of us who are neurodiverse to participate fully in our society and truly share our gifts with the world. 

As always, yours in diversity. 

Adam Michael. 

Oh No! I Appear To Have Missed Autistic Pride Day: Why Every Day Should Be About Autism Acceptance

So it seems that I'm a bad Neurodiversity activist, at least momentarily. This past Saturday, my friends and I had a great camp, barbecue and swimming weekend a little bit out of North Bay, Ontario on beautiful Lake Nippissing. In my haste to pack the car, buy sunscreen, help with the food prep and drive the two hours there and back one important fact completely slipped my mind:
Saturday was Autistic Pride Day. 

Indeed, when I checked my social media accounts and saw them flooded with a slew of Autistic Pride posts, my heart sank a little. After all, what kind of Neurodiversity activist and cause fighter am I if I completely forget to post something special to Differently Wired on this of all days? I hastily re-shared a blog post by fellow Autistic blogger Alyssa Hubert and wrote a quick "Yay! Pride!" message between hamburgers and beers and called it a day. Duty done...even if it was a rather half-assed contribution.

Except it really wasn't duty done...not fully. If anything, this whole experience has gotten me thinking; should we keep this important sentiment limited to one day? When I say this, I feel like anyone who has ever said that "every day should be Christmas," because we should be kind to people all year round, but I really do feel its a shared sentiment. I'll never say that it isn't important for oppressed minorities to have a day of defiant pride and celebration - indeed, this is essential for any group in the fight for equality. All I'm saying is,  we really shouldn't only take one day in June to celebrate our pride as people on the Spectrum in being who we are. I know many of us also choose to defiantly mark April as Autism ACCEPTANCE Month or Neurodiversity Month, but even still this isn't enough. It's fantastic that we do, but we should be pushing for our voices to be heard every day of our lives. After all, the mainstream media doesn't take a holiday, and we need to be out there educating others and reaffirming our right to be different and exist in this world. Because being on the Autism spectrum doesn't make us broken; it makes us unique and equally deserving of dignity, respect and acceptance.

So this is my affirmation to all of you that I'll never stop fighting or wait for only one day or one month in order to campaign for the recognition of dignity and respect for every human on this planet who is differently wired. After all, if the average human lifespan is roughly 80 years, then every one of us has the right to be accepted, respected and loved every day of those eight or more decades. Anything other than that is just totally wrong.

As always yours in diversity, 

Adam Michael