"OH MY GOD WHAT IF...???" A Few Reflections on Generalized Anxiety Disorder

By Adam Mardero

Truthfully, this is a post that I’ve wanted to write for some time now. It’s been a topic that has been on my mind a lot lately, and has prompted me to reflect deeply on how my own life has been impacted by anxiety. The truth is, Aspergers itself often comes with elements of anxiety baked in like one of so many ingredients in a neurosis pie. I’ve always felt the sting of social anxiety, and I firmly believe that it comes as a result of social mores not always being easy to grasp...at least for me. Anxiety can be a debilitating condition to any who have even a twinge of it in their lives...a fact I can attest to.

Even so, this blog post is not about me...not strictly anyway.

This entry of Differently Wired is, if anything, a love letter to all those in my life who struggle with anxiety in any of its many forms. It is a shout out to friends, family, loved ones and anyone else I hold near and dear to my heart. Anxiety is something which has always affected me, whether directly or otherwise, and I know many people for whom it is a constant struggle. This is even a love letter to those I don’t know well or at all; to the faceless masses of humanity, any number of whom struggle with anxiety, depression or countless other mental health conditions. The overarching message I want to convey to all of these people is a simple one, although it is one which is remarkably easy to lose sight of.


You are not alone.

I know, it seems silly to say. The thing is though, to many people struggling with anxiety, it can feel incredibly isolating. Speaking from personal experience, it can often feel as though I am the crazy person for being irrationally nervous about some trivial thing or another. It’s important to remember that you are not. Anxiety may be a condition, but there is nothing wrong with who you are and how you are. You also don’t have to fight alone. I recognize that often times, there really isn’t much of anything that any one of us outside of a panic attack can do to help, and that too is a difficult lesson to learn. Even so, I can say with certainty that even knowing someone you care about is there can help, no matter how helpless they may feel. Having a support circle of people who love you and understand what you are going through (or want to and are willing to learn) can be a lifesaver.

So if you are someone who doesn’t have anxiety, or has it to a lesser or different degree from someone you know, what can you do to help? Based on my own personal experiences, and my own desires from other people, there are a few things:

1)     Be patient. It sounds like a given, but I can’t stress this enough. There will be times where neurosis will kick in. Where I, or example, may stress about the stupidest little thing (whether I remembered to fill the printer at work before leaving my shift, for example). I grant you, it can be frustrating to constantly reassure someone with anxiety, but believe me it is appreciated.

2)     Learn. Educate yourself about anxiety. This has to be one of the most important things that any loved one of someone with anxiety should do. As those kitschy 80’s G.I. Joe ads always proclaimed, “Knowledge is power!”  

3) Look after yourself too. I know it's going to sound selfish, but its totally true. I long ago realized that I tend to act as a conduit for the emotional energies of others, which would then drain and drag me down. Remember, its noble and admirable to want to help someone you care about, but not at the expense of losing your own mental sanity in the process. Balance is key!

At the end of the day, like with every other condition under the sun, having an anxiety disorder does not define someone as a person. As with everyone else, there are moments of laughter and moments of tears, days when the sunrise fills you with hope and joy, and others where you don't want to crawl out of bed. In other words, we are all human beings first, and we all have our challenges to face. Hopefully, this entry has helped some of you out there who have been impacted by anxiety, depression or any other condition.

Remember, there is only one unchangeable thing which should define us, and that is our common humanity.

Yours in Diversity,

Adam Michael

"With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility" - Understanding Privilege and Guilt vs Responsibility

I'm sorry.

Anyone who knows me knows I utter those two words far more than is probably humanly healthy. Ordinarily, it tends to be about stupid things that I needlessly beat myself up over (since apparently while self love comes easily to adult me, I still have a tendency of holding myself to a ridiculously high standard). Tonight however, I'm saying it because I think I've finally had the concept of social responsibility driven home for me.

Before I continue, I'd like to reiterate that I have always had an understanding of this concept on an intellectual and moral level. I've always understood that it is the responsibility of those who do well by society's various standards to help those that do not. On a moral level, I've also always believed that while an individual member of a traditionally oppressive group may not hold any personal guilt in how the oppressed are treated by his or her peers, they do hold a responsibility as a representative of that group to at least attempt to make things better.

The thing is...as much as I say truthfully that I've always understood this, I don't think I've gotten it more than I do tonight.

My lovely girlfriend this weekend embarked on what I've been told was an epic trip to the small northern town she calls home for the annual Pride festivities. As a fellow activist and believer in equality, my thrill at her going was only matched by my disappointment that I could not also be there fighting the good fight. The weekend was filled with fun and inspiring celebrations of diversity in all its forms, but one speaker in particular gave me knots in my stomach and almost made me tear up when my partner told me about it.

The speaker in question was a transgendered individual who transitioned from female to male. Anyone familiar with such things knows how difficult that can be, and how unaccepting society can still be to what many consider the most misunderstood and misrepresented members of the LGBTQ community. Apparently, the man spoke with much courage and light about his dark past and the difficult journey he faced in coming to terms with who he was. One period he mentioned that was especially dark was his time in middle school. Now, as I've said before, I also had dark times during that period of my life, but nothing I or many have been through can compare to the challenge of coming out as transgendered. This speaker mentioned how he had been bullied not only by peers but also by the administration at the school...in particular one principal who made his life a living hell.

The kicker here is, he went to middle school at one of the schools a certain family member of mine was principal at, during the very time she worked there.

When I realized this, my stomach contorted in disgust and I proceeded to apologize profusely to my girlfriend. For her part, she was amazing and consoled me, telling me I could not control the actions of my family members. It was at that point that I came face to face with the concept of social responsibility. The fact remained that while, yes, I could not be held personally responsible for the actions of a member of my family (and thus could not and should not share the guilt), I do share in the responsibility for the situation because we are both representatives of our family.

I know what you are going to say dear reader, because its an argument that has been used time and again in similar situations involving racism, sexism and countless other judgmental isms. “You shouldn't take the blame for something that someone else did because you didn't do it yourself!” The thing is, this statement is both correct and incorrect. To understand how that's possible, one has to understand how we are all impacted by privilege in various forms. If you are a member of a traditionally privileged group, whether it be being male, straight, white, or any other state of existence that gives you an elevated status in the eyes of society, then while you are not guilty for the crimes of your fellow members of that group who may lack your level of enlightenment, you are nonetheless responsible for their actions.

Consider this example. I work for a medium-sized telecom company. Like most companies, the cost-service ratio is a mixed bag, and we naturally don't do well by 100% of our customers. When someone comes up to me at my workplace with a ridiculously high bill or another beef with some policy instituted by my superiors, the first thing they see is yours truly wearing his company uniform and standing behind the counter. In that moment, while I am not at fault for the particular policy that the customer has called into question, I am still responsible for at least attempting to help the customer in some way since I am still a representative of my company. Many people intuitively understand this in a retail or employment context, but find it more difficult to apply the same reasoning to issues of social justice because quite simply, it hurts to think that someone we may be connected to did something bad, and we don't want to be saddled with the guilt because gosh darn it, we are good people! This, dear friends, is emotion talking. Logically, the same argument applies in both situations.

So, to the awesome-sounding transgendered man who gave the truly inspiring talk at small-town Pride, I am terribly, humbly sorry from the bottom of my heart. In fairness, I don't know exactly what happened during those years, nor could I ever hope to understand how it must have felt. I will say that the member of my family in question is by no means an evil person, and has made great strides in terms of acceptance and belief in equality, but we are all of us human and prone to making mistakes and letting the dark sides of our nature through. I will not make excuses for her or anyone else, but I will take responsibility as a privileged member of the same family and say that I do apologize for what you may have gone through. While I have no doubt that the awesome person you have now become is due to both good and bad times, as is true for all of us, no one should ever have to endure that. You are awesome and beautiful just by virtue of being a human on this planet, and the fact that you have come through with such light just enhances your awesomeness by a factor of a billion. One human to another, even if I've never met you, I just want to say that dude? You rock!

I realize this post is not directly related to neurodiversity, but I think the underlying message is an important one for us all to consider. Every word, action and thing that comes from us directly impacts those around us. We must be vigilant and remember that, in the words of Uncle Ben from Spider-Man, “with great power comes great responsibility.” I am sure that my family member never intended to have such a negative impact, just as I am sure than many who are part of a privileged group do not intentionally want to seem arrogant as they attempt to wash their hands of the mistakes of their ancestors and fellow members. Unfortunately, it is rarely that simple. If it was, we would not have many of the complex social justice issues we now face as a society. While we do need to move onward and upward and leave the past behind us, we must also recognize that moving past the guilt often does and should involve embracing the responsibility of cleaning up the mess and putting the pieces back together. It's not an easy journey to make, but one I believe every member of our species capable of doing.

After all, if we want to build that better world, its where we need to start.

Yours in diversity,

Adam Michael

Autism in Hell's Kitchen: Disability and Neurodiversity Rights in Marvel's Daredevil

Good evening to all of you out in internet land! Recently I, like many of you, have become a huge fan of the various movies and TV series published under the Marvel banner and based on their comic books. The stories are great fun, and after all, who doesn't remember growing up with the adventures of Spiderman, Thor, Captain America, The Hulk and other such mighty Avengers? In particular, Marvel recently released their Netflix original series Daredevil, and strangely enough it sparked some thought in my brain about how disability and neurodiversity tends to be portrayed on TV and in other media.

Surely, none of us are strangers to it. While watching a favourite TV show or movie, or reading a book or magazine, a character is presented who has a visible or invisible disability. Who doesn't love that? After all, its nice to see marginalized groups represented in mainstream media, isn't it? Indeed it is, dear reader, but there is of course a dark side to this. More often than not, media portrayals of things such as the autism spectrum tend to present aspies and autistics in one of three lights; negatively (the character lacks any humanity whatsoever), sympathetically, yet condescendingly (“Aww the poor dear, he struggles so much with that tragic condition!) or proudly, yet condescendingly (“We're so proud of him! He's come so far...you know...for someone with his condition!”) The point is, while media coverage is good, typically, mainstream presentations of autism and aspergers (and indeed any condition which differentiates people from the crowd) tend to reinforce prevailing stereotypes against those who are different rather than shatter them.

I could come up with a laundry list of fictional characters who fall victim to this trope, but thankfully one show's characters I could not lump under that group are those of Daredevil. Indeed, it feels as though the entire show is one big love letter to disability pride. Matthew Murdock, the lead character of the show and alter ego of the titular character, is an attorney working in New York's dangerous Hell's Kitchen neighbourhood, attempting to make things better for the people of NYC's impoverished areas. He is also blind, having lost his sense of sight due to a chemical spill at nine years of age. While in most traditional disability narratives, Murdock would probably be afforded sympathy by viewers and writers alike, this is not the case in Daredevil. As a result of losing his sight, Murdock has honed his other senses to a razor sharp degree, and uses them to effectively see without use of his eyes. This enables him to fight crime and bring justice to the people of Hell's Kitchen by night, while using his intellect to do the same thing through the legal system during the day. What I like most about Murdock's story is that it very much parallels the developmental path of many mild aspies and autistics (including yours truly). Essentially, while certain aspects of being on the spectrum are in fact a disability (seriously, being able to distinguish between angry face and serious face? Ugh!), it is never a black and white thing and also comes with many gifts. I can testify that in my own admittedly mild case, while I was slightly handicapped in reading emotional cues based on facial language, I developed my ability to analyze other aspects of a situation and so almost make up for it. I have my moments where I fail, but heck, even Matt Murdock still needs to read brail right?

And I haven't even gotten into the series' big bad yet...

If the positive commentary on disability starts with the Daredevil himself, it reaches its next level with series baddie Wilson Fisk. Portrayed in the comics as the big, muscular bald and highly intelligent leader of New York's biggest criminal empire, the series' version of him follows almost the exact same path. Played by Vincent D'Onofrio on the Netflix series, the live action version of Fisk is also a recluse, one who is visibly uncomfortable in social settings and who, besides his close friend and assistant James Wesley and lover Vanessa, has no expansive social network and a very regimented daily routine.

In short, Fisk is on the autism spectrum. And I couldn't be happier about it.

Now, before any of you start screaming that making a villain autistic effectively ruins the reputations of anyone with any Autism Spectrum Disorder, hear me out. Yes, Fisk is a recluse. Yes, he is visibly uncomfortable in social settings, and yes he has a small circle of close associates, but these are never portrayed as any form of impediment to him. In fact, These traits, when combined with Fisk's clear and shrewd intellect, and his inner conflict between the moral and ruthless sides of his soul serve to make him one of the most interesting and, dare I say, human villains currently existing in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. In the end, Fisk has both good and evil in his soul, just as we all do. Whether neurodiverse or neurotypical, blind or able to see, we all have the conflict between two metaphorical wolves within us; one of good and the other of evil. The fact that Fisk is presented (though never announced on screen) as an autistic with the same inner turmoil and complex character development normally reserved for non-disabled characters is a beautiful testament to the fact that, whatever else we may have to deal with in life, we are all of us humans first.

Marvel's Daredevil is therefore a show that hits a lot of the right notes. While my inner geek is jumping for joy at its tie-ins with the greater MCU, my disability rights activist is also doing the same mental fist-pump for all of the positive portrayals of disability that lie within. It's a great show in its own right, and I seriously can't wait to see where the series goes (I haven't finished watching it yet!). Even still, there is something super compelling about the concept of a blind super hero with highly developed senses fighting the good fight for the poorest of NYC against an autistic villain who is brilliant, evil and a cunning crime lord while also being oh so human.

Whoa.

Curing Autism: Kindness or Judgment?

This blog entry is one that I've wanted to write for a very long time, I've just been a bit hesitant to do so. In fact, so deep has my debate over writing this entry been, its taken me several months to organize it into some semblance of an article in my head. Before I get into it though, I'd like to state as I have before that the content of this blog is my opinion alone. I recognize that neuordiversity and autism awareness are murky waters, filled with many diverse opinions on what exactly is the best way to provide love and support for those on the spectrum. We are all, after all, deeply concerned about aspies and autistics getting the fairest and best treatment possible.

That being said, the topic I'd like to talk about today is an important one for anyone living with aspergers, autism or any other pervasive developmental condition:

The cure.

Wait, what's that you say? There is no cure to being on the spectrum? That may well be true, but it is equally true that science is consistently researching the potential existence of one. There are many out there in autism awareness circles who, led by misguided yet good intentions and the media, are concerned with finding a cure for autism. Now first off let me be clear; I recognize that that there are many challenges faced by those on the autism spectrum. Ranging from mild to severe, problems with socialization and communication tend to be present in almost everyone with a diagnosis. Treatment for these is good and should be pursued; it can assist in bringing someone out of their shell and finding their voice and confidence. Many times, to those who are parents and caregivers of autistics, good-natured love makes them want to secure a better future for their children. This kind of love should be cherished and celebrated. We should, however, be selective in which kinds of treatment we seek out, as some can be downright damaging to autistics. The idea of curing autism and aspergers in particular is misguided at best and potentially destructive at worst.

As a civilization, our concept of medicine here in the west is very mechanical. Problem arises, expert analyzes and diagnoses, and medicine is assigned to remove it. The truth is, in terms of approach and philosophy, the way I treat my asthma is not all that different from how I fix my computer on those occasions when Windows decides to...well...be Windows. There is nothing in theory wrong with this; through this lens, we have cured a great many diseases and made much progress in terms of extending lifespans and increasing quality of life. We need to remember, however, that not everything is so clear cut. Autism is, after all, considered to be a pervasive developmental condition. By its very nature, it is so completely intertwined with who someone is, that fully removing it would completely change the person at a fundamental level. More concerning, a cure would raise a difficult question; if autism's presence gives a person a unique personality type, then by seeking a cure are we not making the case that certain personality types which do not fit with social standards should be eliminated?

Perhaps the most concerning contributor to this pathologizing of personality types is the anti-vaccination movement. Specifically, I'm concerned with their misguided assertion that vaccines cause autism. While I recognize that it is good to be aware of the ingredients and side effects of anything one decides to put in themselves or others, and that this claim is born from a place of love, there are certain facts which must be contended with. Not only has the vaccine-autism link been thoroughly debunked in hundreds of independent studies, but the claim itself is extremely damaging as it further fuels the fire behind the idea that there is somehow something very wrong with someone on the autism spectrum. There is, in fact, far more evidence to support the idea that autism and aspergers arise from a combination of genetic and epigenetic factors rather than from vaccines. As long as people believe anything to the contrary and cling to the idea that vaccines are bad, then not only will we continue to see the resurgence of diseases exterminated long ago, but we may actually see an increasing desire to exterminate what in my opinion is a natural variation of the wiring of the human brain.

In short, my message to all neurodiverse people and their supporters is the same as its always been; love yourself and be proud of who you are! There is nothing wrong with any of you; in fact, many of the brightest individuals in human history had something about them that set them apart. What, for example, someone had never given Beethoven a chance due to his degenerating sense of hearing? What if Bill Gates or Steve Jobs (two men who, in my opinion, were aspies without even realizing it) had been put in a box and considered defective instead of having been allowed to kick start the computer revolution? History is filled with examples such as these, but at the end of the day, no one has the right to decide for another what their potential is and to prune traits from them deemed to be “undesirable.” To do so is to ignore everyone's – aspie, autistic, neurotypical – fundamental rights as human beings.

After all, to thine own self be true...am I right?

Yours in diversity

Adam Michael

Depression and Mental Health: A Post in Honour of Robin Williams and a Dear Friend...

Greetings to all you Aspies and allies out there in interweb land! Today, my original plan was to write about something else entirely, but in light of a few developments recently, there’s another important issue I feel the need to address in a special column of this blog. As you are all no doubt aware, recently the prominent comedian and actor Robin Williams committed suicide after a long battle with depression. Indeed, this was a tragedy, and I’m sure I speak for many when I say that the world will miss his manic sense of humour. Through this, many have taken to the internet to raise awareness for mental health and depression-related causes. This is a fantastic thing, but this is ultimately not my motivation for writing tonight. No, my reason is far more personal; you see, just this week, a dear friend of mine also committed suicide after a long battle with depression and other mental health issues.

The friend in question (henceforth referred to as M) wasn’t one of my closest friends, nor was she someone I saw on a regular basis, but she was always someone I got along well with and whose company I thoroughly enjoyed when we did finally find moments to spend together. In light of this, despite knowing that she’d struggled with depression since long before we met, I found myself deeply saddened by her loss. M was a transgendered individual, and one with a long history of being shunned and having to make it on her own without help. Perhaps one of the things I find most haunting about her tragic life story was that much of her misery was caused by the judgments and criticisms of others. Being a member of the transgendered community, while being far less understood than Aspergers, shares that one common element with our own scene; there is an overwhelming lack of correct information and understanding among people. Yes, friends, this is indeed the dark side of being born anything but typical; in fact its commonly known that LGBT youth have one of the highest suicide rates of any demographic, and its due in no small part to the judgments of others and lack of acceptance. I can’t help but feel like if there were more love in this world, my friend, Robin Williams, and the countless others who fall victim to depression each year would still be with us.

Despite this, we must resist the urge to oversimplify the situation. Depression is, after all, an illness. It can no more be willed away with happy thinking than a broken leg can be mended with faith healing. It requires treatment, hard work, understanding and support from all those involved for any individual to make a recovery, and many don’t ever fully do so. For these people, depression is very much like epilepsy or asthma; a condition one lives with on a daily basis. Those suffering with depression and other mental health issues do not need our condescension, nor do they need our well-meaning yet overbearing attempts at help; often times, they just need friends to stand by them and prove to them that, despite what the evil little voice of depression is whispering in their ears, people do in fact love them. As I’ve thought about it over the past few days, I’ve come to the conclusion that I wish I had done this more for M than I did. Even if it meant that long-discussed sushi outing. 

Friends, I realize this is merely one blog entry in a sea of mental health awareness articles, but I felt it was important to share on this site. Being neurodiverse often carries with it the stigma of being different or broken, along with the many tears and frustration such labels bring. Though the idea of being broken couldn’t be farther from the truth, its not always easy to realize that when one is living through a rather nightmarish situation. It’s important that we stand together and help lift each other out of the dark places if and when we fall close to them. Only through education and mutual support like this are we going to make the world a better place.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go play some Super Smash Bros: Project M…in honour of the aforementioned individual with the same initial. She was a huge geek and gamer, and I feel like she would appreciate this.

As always, yours in diversity!

Adam Michael

On Education and Fear

Hey all and welcome to another edition of Differently Wired; the blog for all things Aspie! I’m sorry I haven’t updated in a long while, but life has been rather busy as of late. I’m back though, so without further ado, let’s get on with it!

Today’s blog entry is actually based on something that happened to me recently. You see, in the past few months, I moved in with my best friend in a fantastic new apartment building. Coincidentally, two of my aunt and uncle (henceforth referred to as zia and zio due to my Italian heritage)’s friends live in the building too, and one night as I was leaving, some of their friends were coming off the elevator to pay them a visit. I was just leaving my own unit when something unexpected happened. One of them; a lady who my zia had been friends with for a long time, saw me and asked to speak with me about something. She told me that her grandson has Aspergers and that she would very much like my advice on how to approach the situation!

I’m rather ashamed to admit it, but I was engulfed by quite a bit of emotional confusion upon being asked this. On the one hand, I was honoured and thrilled to be able to do good and make a difference in someone’s life. It is, after all, my motivation for writing this blog and for continuing to be an outspoken activist for Aspie pride. On the other hand, I felt an emotion which is all too human; fear. I was afraid that I was and would be considered to be less of a person by her and angry that my zia seemed to talk about me behind my back in such a way that one of her friends knew something very personal about me. It was my secret to choose to share, dammit!

…at least, that’s how I felt at the time.

As the days went on, I thought more about the request, and finally decided that I would do it. It was the right thing to do, and it would help someone out who was in need. And you know what? As we sat down to have coffee and discuss all things Aspergian, I feel like I truly got through to someone. Many of the things I mentioned were things I’ve written about on this blog, along with a heaping dose of Neurodiversity 101. I think what helped tie it all together though was that my zia’s friend saw me, a fully-functioning adult aspie with a good job and burgeoning writing career, and felt comforted for her own grandson. To borrow a phrase from the LGBTQ community, it DOES get better.

I guess what I’m trying to say with this entry is that, to quote a very wise green puppet from a fictional universe, fear is the path to the dark side. It’s extremely understandable, especially when it comes to something like Aspergers, which isn’t widely socially understood or accepted. That being said, we should never be afraid of being who we are. The only reason people have the power to judge is because we give it to them through our fear. If we proudly proclaim to all the Neurotypicals out there that we are proud to be Aspies, then we effectively rob them of all power to judge us. The only way to help the children growing up with Aspergers right now is for all of us adult Aspies to take pride in ourselves and educate others.

After all, we must be the change we want to see in the world!

(Also, I should really stop quoting famous people and characters shouldn’t I?)

As always, yours in diversity,

Adam Michael

Aspergers in the Workplace - My Observations So Far...

Hi everyone! I'm sorry I haven't posted for a while; life has kept me busy! In fact, everything that's happened to me in the last six months has really served to inspire me to write today's post. You see, only a month after my last post, my current employer put me in charge of a project and flew me out to western Canada to oversee its completion. While out there I had a chance to meet many wonderful people and have some great experiences that will stay with me forever, and I came home to yet another managerial position. It was in reflecting on all of this that I came to have some insights, and I wanted to share them with you!

The title of this entry is rather self-explanatory, but its a topic I feel should get discussed. Also, please keep in mind that as I've said before, my Aspergers is milder than some, so your mileage may vary. Anyway, as I mentioned above, in October my employer gave me the task of overseeing a project in a small city in northern Alberta, Canada...half a country away from my hearth and home. It was a funny thing; I always knew I wanted to explore and see more of the world, but when push came to shove I was terrified. Steeling myself for it, however, I embarked on my great adventure.

Leadership, I soon discovered, is a fickle thing. As the man in charge of the project out there, I often took flack and dealt with drama that I often joked I didn't get paid enough for. Assuming my managerial role once I got home was no different, and it has made me fight in ways I've never had to before. It's easy to be the one following orders, but to be in charge is a different thing altogether. I consider myself a strong person, and yet when faced with people I didn't know and expected to take charge, I got nervous. Why should these people respect me? I hadn't been with the company nearly as long as them! Being a manager has made me face aspects of my Aspergers I didn't know existed. For example, I've always had a hard time when people don't like me, but by assuming a mantle of leadership I've had to face the very real fact that not everybody will and that it doesn't matter. I thought I had already made peace with that, but if I hadn't at the outset of this I certainly have now.

Another unpleasant thing I've had to face in my time as a leader so far is having to be firm and put my foot down. My initial inclination is to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and be friendly to them. Unfortunately there are often those who will take advantage. At first, I had a hard time "being the boss" as it were, and didn't assert myself enough. Since then, I've come a long way and found myself able to assert myself where necessary while still building rapport with my coworkers.

The point I'm trying to make with all of this is that work in general and leadership roles in particular can be quite challenging at times, for NTs and Aspies alike. It's important to always believe in yourself and never give up, because despite all the challenges, work can be a great place to be! I can safely say I am blessed by the universe to have as great co-workers as I do, and I would do anything for them! Also, my quirky aspie-inspired way of being genuinely entertains: My coworkers may not be aware of this aspect of me, but they love my silliness and "lame-but in a good way" sense of humour, to quote one of them. I've genuinely started to thrive, and if any of you are facing similar conditions take heart; so can you!

Yours in Diversity,

Adam Michael